Author Archive

Believe the Hype (& the Horoscope!): John Colburn’s Invisible Daughter

by on Feb.26, 2013, under Uncategorized

invisibledaughter_covIt’s true that John Colburn is an Aquarius—how could he be anything else? He even has an Aquarius moon, meaning the moon was new when he was born, its comma just barely flanking the shadow of the sun. Quite the opposite of last night’s full moon in Virgo, which if you haven’t yet go out and gain yourself some moonshine there’s still time. Virgo—–the nurse, the vestal virgin, the hearth keeper, the fact checker, alchemist even.

The Sabian symbol for this Virgo full moon: “A Girl Takes Her First Dance Lesson.”

Imagine Invisible Daughter taking her first dance lesson. I can imagine it. John Colburn can imagine it, wishes he’d seen it. Invisible Daughter in the nape of the woods off Old Stagecoach Road, sidestepping Thought-Eating Man. Grass spirits air-burdened & humping across a spate of prairie until their legs dissolve in the mud.

Our comrade Peter Richards calls this geography “an unsettling and gently self-contained world,” which might also describe the present situation in Pisces—–Virgo’s opposite sign, upon where the full blast of this pregnant moon aims its spotlight. And John Colburn is not only a Pisces rising, but his sun and moon are found in the 12th house of his natal chart, and Venus, Mercury, Saturn, Chiron, and his Part of Fortune were all transiting the sign of Pisces at the moment of his birth. Mercury’s in Pisces now—–stationed retrograde, since Saturday (yay, just in time for AWP!)—–as are many other planets including Pisces’ (and John Colburn’s) rulership, Neptune. Our world is awash in oceanic feelings, we’re up to our gills in cosmic amnion. Chunks of pope and towers disperse like sediment, like lochia, into the gutters of prehistory. Some colossal birth, we sense, must be immanent.

“I love the sense the reader has of being frequently conceived in this book,” says Peter Richards (a Cancer, clearly comfy moon-merging on the high seas). “I love how it explores the different ways it wants to be beautiful [Venus], and then creates those ways [Saturn]… You’re alive in the mind now seeking the Invisible Daughter. Her whereabouts are complicated, perpetual, and ominous in the way the future seems ominous to the past.” Or, in terms of the Pisces revolution to which these arks we’re building are in most holy and beautiful service, how ominous the past now seems to the future. But we’re alive and undulant in the psychedelic glamor mind of Neptune—–

surprise

 

In darkness surprising words appeared in our minds. I felt I needed

speech therapy or white hair, I felt seductive and deep. As if I knew

where a star might shine. I hoped we could leave time or break the

arms of spirits and watch them grow back. I hoped for sleep easing

its calm under our tent, dense dreams like pomegranates. Long ago

a new part of earth had thickened underwater and now we stood

on it. Dinosaurs had dreamt here and left tremors. Maybe tomorrow

we would have powers, maybe we would disappear into the woods

like ingredients. Older Brother stared into the forming pool. Our

blue air turned one shade bluer. Fireflies lit up a natural stairway,

creek to ridge, all limestone. We knew the devil never made trees

and I touched the vibrating trunks, studied the ridge, a tight waiting

entered our dimming camp, a preoccupation. I told Older Brother

I saw spirits inflating and delivering their own bodies, it was hard

to explain. I told the trees and creek, the crayfish under their rocks,

and either it was true or I wanted deliverance from truth. Would

I know if I lit up? I thought betrothed, engulfed, saturated, confidential,

lapidary. Strange words.

Pisces_Female_by_hairwire

& Invisible Daughter is here to help us cleanse the pater-smear and tower-rubble from our horizon as daughters rise up in droves from the mist to lead us to our first post-patriarchal dance lesson. And as we all know, a revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having. Namaho!

More hype tomorrow on other ghost girls and their wet lands.

 

 

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THE CUNTOS: A POETICS

by on Jan.02, 2013, under Uncategorized

Mother Death Poetics originated here, and I think, Montevidayans, you’ll agree this mater-manifesta furthers our consciousness and our desire. Elisabeth Workman lives in Minneapolis, and I hope she won’t mind me reporting that she actually delivered her baby, by chance, in the bathtub in the bathroom of her own home. Her husband helped. I love her. She says, “It should be noted that this is very much a document in progress, and that any comments may be incorporated into the poetics &/or poetry as it grows.”

The image was made by my goddaughter Grace, who is 12, and is responsible for the cover art of my first book.

Happy New Year!

*************
-1

The Cuntos: A Poetics
Elisabeth Workman

The source text for this project was written out of a fugitive anxiety in July 2012. The source texts feeding into that text were written out of desperation in the 19th century, out of significant disdain, out of borders, disillusionment, and uncertainty. A passive voice gets acted upon. A passive voice becomes receptive. The nascent language of a two-year-old girl surfaces. The neurotic language of a mother at the edge of pigeon-hole surfaces. A poet in the word-hole listens. The in-between language of revenants collides with a perverse pleasure of near-sounds and puns and estranged, entangled meaning. It is a blatant abuse of paper.

In July 2012 I had recently re-read Bernadette Mayer’s Memory, her own July project published in 1976 (the year I was born; bicentenialism) that sought to document via photography, sound recordings, and most dominantly, words as much of each day as possible. At the same time Fanny Trollope’s Domestic Manners of the Americans kept resurfacing to the top spot on my bedside pile of books—maybe compelled by my own melancholic nostalgia to not be an American, maybe an extended fascination with wanderlust and frontiers and the lawlessness they foment. Online, I kept returning to readings from Anne Tardos’ Nine, whose concept of the line as independent semantic phenomena—and many aphoristic—I found beautiful and true in a Jenny Holzer on jouissance-poetry-drugs way.
(continue reading…)

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MOTHER SUBSTANCE (2)

by on Oct.25, 2012, under Uncategorized

A few weeks ago Danielle posted a link on Facebook to this post by Anne Boyer, which I found tremendously moving and familiar, and in the process of simply commenting below Danielle’s link it soon became apparent that I had more to say than a comment could accommodate, and that I should take the opportunity instead to submit to you, dear Montevidayans, my extended maternal manifesta, as presented below. In the process of fleshing out this post (which, in my mind, dovetails into an ecstatic endorsement of Lucas de Lima’s new chapbook Ghostlines, its resonance with South American myths about bird mothers, women shamans, and the Anáposo ceremony, along with LdL’s elegiac transfiguration and re-imagination of the archetypal holy trinity, among other things), I became waylaid. First, by a lengthy and consuming visit with my newly-widowed mother. And then, by finding myself the subject of a bona fide censuring over a poem—inspired by the curious outrage over use of the word “vagina” among Michigan congressmen—that was published in the magazine Revolver. I was asked by Revolver’s editors to write a statement about this event, which you can find here:

Poets, much less walking vaginas, are rarely consulted in matters as vital to families as the safety and honor of our capitalist economy. But perhaps poetry—like menstruating, defecating, vomiting, sweating, lactating, emoting, birth-giving women—constitutes a filtering system of sorts, with its own innate algorithms and ethic of protection. By unwittingly violating the decorum of Google and its family of advertisers in my poem’s efforts to pin the ironic ironic vagina on the Elephant (or Donkey—same diff), “Decorum of the House” managed to plumb a few gold nuggets from the bowels of The System…

It’s basically raining vaginas in my neck of the woods, I can only hope the same is true for all of you.

**************

I was 23 when my daughter was born, 4 weeks early (though perfectly healthy), during a vaginal delivery that was miraculously accomplished without medication or other interventions despite its taking place, due to her prematurity, in an operating room among masked & blue-gowned ghosts. My post-partum nurse was so annoyed by my insistent demands to initiate breastfeeding with my very own brand new infant daughter (who seemed completely out of my hands, as if I had to *earn* her back from the hospital’s custody) that she finally pushed us into a supply closet near to where other nurses had spent what seemed like hours bathing the mother slop from the body of my baby, and essentially “taught me” how to nurse by shoving my baby’s head onto my breast before abandoning me to sit, bloody & throbbing, on a stool surrounded by mops and buckets.

Later, when I refused to let the nurses retire my baby to the nursery, and even brought her into my hospital bed with me to sleep and sustain our nearness, I’d wake to them attempting to remove her to the plastic “crib” and wheel her out of my room, threatening me with various bullshit tenets about the dangers of co-sleeping and hospital liability. Which is no offense against nurses—my sisters are nurses, excellent ones, like many others I’ve met. But this is the way I remember my (mostly glorious and transcendent) experience of birthing my baby in a hospital.

It took about 8 years to pay off the slack not covered by my insurance—which was granted me through my work as a medical secretary—for an event (childbirth) I could have accomplished in the relative comfort and freedom of my own home. That was 22 years ago; there were no working midwives at my prenatal clinic or any other that I knew of, nor were resources or knowledge about birthing alternatives readily available or discussed by anyone I came into contact with. And I don’t mean to insist that homebirth is preferable or safer in every instance, but I would argue that most pregnancies and consequent deliveriesespecially if emancipated from the traditional onslaught of media and medical propaganda—could proceed with success, if not at home then certainly a homier place than a hospital.

One need look no further than The Farm, and its resident midwife Ida Mae Gaskin, for an example of how this works within a larger, intentional community. It wasn’t until the Farm’s 200th birth that they felt compelled by a medical crisis to transport a laboring mother to the hospital where a necessary and life-saving c-section was performed.

Reliable statistics on maternal and infant mortality are hard to come by (although this report by Amnesty International is a good place to start); stats on how hospital births compare to midwife-assisted homebirths are even muckier, varying wildly depending on the agenda of the administering agency. Regardless of statistics, a fundamental reality can’t be overlooked: if childbirth was such a tenuous event, necessitating such extreme technological assistance (at such exorbitant cost), then how could humans have managed to overpopulate, dominate, and inflict profound ecological devastation across the entire planet and its atmosphere? Why are countries with the least access to medical technology (much less car seats, food, shelter, water, etc) so overrun by masses of starving babies?

The truth is (actually I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s my suspicion), you are more likely to die just walking down the street than you are birthing or being born without medical assistance. Pregnancy is not a disease, nor is childbirth a medical crisis. Occasionally, yes, there are clear risks that can be moderated and overcome by medical technology. And certainly unforeseen dilemmas emerge during childbirth that could result in bodily damage if not death, whether one births at a hospital or in manger.

However, in my experience and from fairly extensive research and training, each medical intervention introduced during labor tends to provoke a secondary intervention, which leads to a third and fourth intervention, and so on, and more often than not a c-section concludes the process. All of this is much more complicated than I’m prepared to go into at this moment, and no doubt is a deeply contentious situation. But at the end of the day, there is nothing more natural or inevitable than birth (except maybe death).

For the first 10 years of her life, I was my daughter’s single mother—like Anne Boyer, barely getting by (never more than a step away from possible crisis or destitution), working, ironically, as a medical transcriptionist while going to school full-time and milking what I could from federal financial aid—and though no one ever threatened to take my daughter away from me, I was constantly made to feel afraid it might happen if I, her mother, asserted anything too radical about my maternal ethic, or showed myself to be too vulnerable or not a good enough capitalist. I was, basically, poor, and a single mother, which states of being, in the eyes of some, pretty much constitute criminal behavior.

Now I’m a doula, and I’ve worked with many pregnant & parent teens who are legitimately poor and often homeless—22 years later, not much has changed. As a doula I feel my primary function is to radically demystify and deconstruct the net of terror cast over the heart of the pregnant woman, to work toward liberating her from it and convincing her that inevitably the mechanism of her instinct will prevail, and is ancient and real and steadfast.

My own mother, married to a doctor, was prescribed both diet pills and the synthetic estrogen Diethylstilbestrol when she was pregnant with me, and aggressively dissuaded from breastfeeding. Post-industrial maternity remains subjected to the disempowering & fiscal-centric authority of the patriarchy, which authority in fact is fake, and seems driven almost entirely, at base, by its hatred and horror of motherhood. This macrocosmic social phenomenon is enforced by the symbolic narrative of most hospital births, in which the act of delivery is assigned to the doctor/midwife, who “delivers” the infant—her puffy red face barely visible from within the bandage swaddle of hospital-logo’d receiving blanket and tiny cap—into the arms of the often immobile (post-epidural, or C-section, plus painfully stitched, post-episiotomy or abdominal incision), IV’d, still-bloody, half-naked-&-humiliated-in-hospital-logo’d-institutional-garb, ill-equipped to leave the premises, mother. Who, also, must consent to all kinds of regulations regarding vaccinations, invasive testing and procedures, certifications, insurance, conditional oversights re: the acquiring of all the proper equipment (car seat, formula, etc—you may have arrived in a Honda Civic, but you basically need at least a minivan to haul everything delivered by the hospital back home), all these performed upon or deemed “in the best interest of” her infant before they are together “allowed” to walk out of the hospital.

Furthermore, a mother typically isn’t given the option of seeing much less maintaining possession of her & her baby’s placenta, which is tossed with all the other bioshit into hazardous waste; nor, in general, is she given any indication whatsoever that she herself is the heroine of the story who quite logically should be the decider of everything.

I seethe to imagine the horrific injustices inflicted upon women & infants during childbirth, and how intimately and fundamentally these abuses impact the quality of motherhood, childhood, and the whole of society into which these infants are theretofore unleashed. When you can’t even say the word “vagina” in mixed company without causing people to recoil or want to arrest you, despite the fact that the vagina is the very portal through which most humans enter the world (unless delivered by c-section, which by all counts is nearing on average about 40% here in the U.S.), compounded by recent political rhetoric claiming ethical authority over the reproductive and sexual experience of the  female body (in terms of access to birth control and abortion, ludicrous assumptions about the female body’s response to rape, etc), how can one deny the extent to which mothers and maternity are systematically reviled? Add to that the fact that the U.S. is ranked 50th in the world for maternal mortality among hospital births (with black women nearly four times more likely to die in childbirth than white women), despite spending $100 billion annually on the medical treatment of pregnancy and childbirth. Yet the dark force of legislative and media manipulation over pregnant women and mothers, alongside a total lack of economic value or social status placed upon their maternal purpose, prevents them from fully realizing the obvious and innate power they naturally possess….. And don’t even get me started on the role of oxytocin in all of this, the so-called “love hormone”—often undermined by its synthetic analog pitocin—the absence of which, in the birth process, it’s been argued, could account in part (if combined with routine circumcision, say, among other factors like enforced poverty, demoralizing and self-annihilating media representations, the institution of standardized market-friendly test-enforced data in place of public education of “the whole child,” the dearth of access to psychological mentoring toward individual self-realization and growth as well as the development of relational tools toward conflict resolution and bonding as a collective, etc etc etc) for the prevalence of dread, anxiety, economic disparity, rape, addiction, greed, personal violence, and war: the building blocks of global patriarchal empire.

Peace on Earth begins with Birth! And, not to change the subject, but the dismantling of the patriarchy—which is necessary for our, and other species’, survival, in terms of global empire and the absolute exaltation of capital and corporate personhood over life liberty and the pursuit of happiness—can only come about through both a willingness to abandon the current system to its inevitable collapse (and the sooner the better if you ask me, which is why, generally speaking, I decline to participate in the “democratic process” of presidential politics in voting for one evil, however “lesser,” than another—not to get too tangential, but no one can convince me to suck it up and throw my support toward a guy who boasts about how much drill-baby-drill he’s accomplished on public lands, and authorizes the use of drones, and refuses to address environmental catastrophe, and with all seriousness claims some practically religious pride in the patriotic murdering of “terrorists,” and almost everything else he says no matter how eloquently he might say it), but that dismantling also entails the radical healing and reinvention of fatherhood.

Additionally, it might be useful to remember that traditional healers have maintained an active, mostly uncertified/unlicensed and underground presence for thousands of years, and continue to exchange and expand the tools and knowledge of their ancient systems and lineage. Young people everywhere are dropping out of college to apprentice on organic farms, or with herbalists and radical doulas and midwives and bodyworkers and acupuncturists and curanderas and anarchist movements of all sorts. The resources we need to ensure our reproductive freedom and consummate health await us regardless of any federal or state legislation. If we could just indulge ourselves with a cold, hard analysis, we might realize that such legislation and its legislators not only can’t dance, they can’t overpower us without our consent.  All we have to do, essentially, is refuse.

These rantings, and more, will be revisited in the coming days when I draw your attention to the revolutionary queer maternity and mystical poetics of our very own Lucas de Lima as introduced in his glorious chapbook Ghostlines. Stay tuned (and, if possible, be patient, since my inner work toward patriarchal demolition involves a re-imagination and biorhythmic realignment of a conventional perception of time.) Until then:

P.S. I have a secret hope that you all will feel moved to share your own birth story, or any story or thoughts, in the comments below to keep the labial flames on high.

P.P.S. HELLO SCORPIO

XO

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WUI 2 / Johannes Göransson: Born on the 4th of July

by on Oct.14, 2011, under Uncategorized

“Art is fundamentally tasteless” (Johannes Göransson)

“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen” (Dolly Parton)

Reporting live from San Diego, where I’m gazing out from my Surfer Beach Hotel balcony at the pale morning moon hanging over the ocean, a footloose guitarist serenading the surfers, salty breeze stinging my eyes a little—if I were a Cancer, I’d be weeping. Instead, I’m merely a Gemini who’s hounded by Cancers, despite what Sarah C says, including the Cancer in question, even if my experience of this hounding is, at bottom, just a fanciful and elaborate distraction, My Own Private JG you might say. And apparently I’m not the only one who takes issue with Cancers: Mary Anne Carter, in “Astrological Noise” (Supermachine #3), claims “Cancers are the most convicted criminals and have the highest chance of becoming serial killers.”  So that’s unsettling and maybe even true. Some Cancers, the more evolved ones, know how to mediate these rather more grim aspects of their character in places like colonial pageants, animal bodies, masquerades, blog personae, abandoned bible belt warehouses, guinea pig caves where rodential bachanalia translates as black blood that keeps coming and coming, as depth psychologists, poets, mothers, and so on. Humbert Humbert was probably a Cancer, but so might Gregor Samsa have been: oh meow meow Gregor, woke up as a giant beetle?, wah wah wah, get over it! Glitzy American Quilty got your stodgy European knickers in a twist? Queering up your little knee-socked Lo? Oh boo-hoo-hoo.

But let’s not jump to conclusions; destiny is elastic; any inflexible allegiance to freewill is, I considered the other day, just another way to pretend you’re not immortal. Carter adds that “these irrefutable truths taint the delicate, gentle group of you, who upon us exude as a whole a gentle essence…and bitchin’ determinism.” .  And lest we forget, Cancers are the zodiacal mother substance.

Our in-depth and ongoing study into the complex nature of our subject, Johannes Göransson, has preoccupied  much of our creative, intellectual, and occult energies over the course of the past 2 months, but the time has come to share our findings and de-hound. Due to the shock and awe we’re certain these revelations will impose upon the Montevidayan readership, we shall mete it out over the course of the next 48 hours or so, allowing you to absorb it gradually while still making some time to take a surf lesson or occupy Wells Fargo in whatever town you currently find yourself. Below we offer a preview, perhaps even an outline (we’ll see how I feel after surfing), with some multimedia treats, and teasers, to blaze our astrotail.

Johannes Göransson, THIS IS YOUR LIFE

First quarter moon             First quarter moon                         First quarter moon             First quarter moon                      First quarter moon             First quarter moon

PRE-FACE:
(continue reading…)

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Women Under the Influence: An Interface (Part 1–Julian Assange)

by on Aug.03, 2011, under Uncategorized

It’s no small matter that the word influence derives from Astrology, since Astrology’s objective, in large part, is to elucidate the interplay of mythic characters engaged in mythic narratives, and subsequently apply those insights to the revelation of psychic material (á la, for example, Archetypal Psychology; or Freud also works (less well), et al, pick your poison, but some practice of Astrology has been influencing & informing human consciousness–at the very least–since the advent of human consciousness). As a practice, Astrology is both Socratic and Mystic in its aim to expand consciousness and its exaltation of same. I think the ancient folk knew what they were doing (“considered future generations”) when they fastened the old stories to the cosmic field–an inclusively visible, celestial overmind. Astrology, perhaps, proposed and provided the original framework for managing a collective unconscious, one timelessly reflected in the vast mythic map imprinted up there in the sky.

The word “zodiac” comes from the Greek zodiacus: “little creatures.” Horoscope (“watching hour”):  a map of the planets on the sun’s orbital plane (eclipse) at the exact time and place of one’s birth. What are the little creatures up to up there. One is born beneath a vibrating mirror of sky on which the little creatures play, one takes one’s first breath, one has a face now, is influenced and influential. Enfaced enfant. A karmic event that happens well in advance of Lacan’s discombobulated mirror, linguistic utterance, alterity, standard assessments, and so forth. I’m a doula, I’ve seen this. Like seeing in the Tiresian sense such a mirror–cosmic horizons replacing, as boundary, placental ones; a primal transcendence.

If Astrology, like Art, belongs to superstition (Latin, superstitio: “standing over in amazement; surviving; religious exaltation”), then in order to accommodate, in my own conscious assessment of reality, the existence of: the stock market, corporate personhood, wildly unbalanced distribution of global resources, the weather, “products,” “democracy,” the CIA, state of the union addresses, the fucking media (bar Amy Goodman and Democracy Now!, which I wish everyone had the wherewithal to watch or hear every day), bail-outs, wars on “drugs” & “terror,” or simply the brutal fact that our government’s chief occupation is mass fucking [moral] murder, etc etc, I have to either get extremely high, or constantly and radically re-evaluate the signifiers that determine cultural convention. Or both, which has proved a winning & recommended tactic thus far. (continue reading…)

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Mother Substance

by on Apr.12, 2011, under Uncategorized

Joyelle’s postabout the Sublime as Deformation Zone, (along with lots of what’s been going on here lately, e.g. necropastoral, ambient shame, etc) really resonates with my current project, which revolves around—& constellates from—the nonsteroidal synthetic estrogen Diethylstilbestrol (DES) that was prescribed to pregnant women through the mid-1970s under the false presumption that it would reduce the risk of miscarriage (not to mention “render normal gestation even more normal” and “make healthy babies even healthier.”)

A typical dose for pregnant women was equivalent to an intake of 700 birth control pills a day. DES was also used as a food supplement for cows, chickens, and other corporately farmed livestock–not only did it fatten the meat, but, conveniently, it chemically castrated the males. Notably, the FDA banned its use in chickens close to 20 years before banning its use in humans. Shortly after the initial synthesis of DES, male lab workers handling this “mother substance” (as it was christened by its discoverer, Charles Dodds, who had synthesized DES from a coal-tar derivative in 1938 at the University of London) began to grow breasts and become impotent (which Big Pharma fixed by hiring only female lab workers.) Dodds had intentionally forfeited his patent from the start, aware that the Nazis were conducting hormone research as part of their eugenics program, and wanting to protect against experimentation on women. He never expected DES would be used for healthy women, and (like Oppenheimer) he agonized over and regretted how the PCPs (patriarchal capitalist pigs) commandeered his discovery.  Nevertheless, Dodds was knighted in honor of his contribution to science, and served as Master of the Worshipful Society of Apothecaries where his achievements were endowed with a stained glass window representing his “coat of arms.” Crowning this armor, emerging like Athena sprung from the head of Zeus, is a woman holding an open book revealing the formula for DES.

Permission granted by the Apothecaries Society: http://www.apothecaries.org/. Photo courtesy of Caitlin McCarthy.

Permission granted by the Apothecaries Society: http://www.apothecaries.org/. Photo courtesy of Caitlin McCarthy.

DES Daughters (female offspring of women who took the drug) became victims of the first transplacental carcinogen known to humans, sometimes developing a rare form of vaginal clear cell carcinoma—requiring the removal of their entire genital tract & all reproductive organs—as young as age 14. Potential cancer of the vagina, uterus, cervix, vulva, breasts, and ovaries perpetually haunts all DES Daughters since the carcinogenic medium installed during in utero chemical exposure can have a decades-long latency. Additionally, these daughters (I’m one of them) experience a variety of teratogenic effects resulting from their prenatal exposure: t-shaped, septated, mottled, and smaller-than-normal uteri; cervical hoods, adenosis, and other cervical deformations; increased miscarriage, infertility, preterm labor & ectopic pregnancy; increased risk for auto-immune disease; endometriosis and other nondiagnosable/untreatable (defaced) menstrual disorders, etc.

a DES uterus

It’s like we have 3 parents really, one of them synthetic: splitting & surging—as physical matter becoming a fetal body—alongside all the other “natural” stuff. Hybrid body, part “machine” (pharmaceutical), part organism. This indeed is sublime parentage, producing endocrinological disruption/dys-circuitry, an interior/invisible performance of cyborg femininity, plastic sensations at the meat core, non-alive therefore non-dying, embodied monstrosity. My uterus is just barely recognizable as a uterus; ultrasound techs are always shocked to discover that I managed to grow a baby in that thing. It’s a sublime uterus, dreadful & captivating & incomprehensible. Imagine the horror of those DES daughters who required removal of their vaginas. How do you remove a hole?

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A few faves from my 2010 reading list

by on Dec.31, 2010, under Uncategorized

1. The Cow, this manifesto about The Cow, Yes, & “When I Looked At Your Cock My Imagination Died”—I jumped on this train a little late, but I never want to jump off.

2. Ghost Fargo, by Paula Cisewski

3. The Book of Frank and the Som(atic) Poetry Exercises from the magical world of C.A. Conrad

4. Eileen Myles: The Inferno; The Importance of Being Iceland; Sorry, Tree; + all of her Harriet posts especially the one involving Eliot Weinberger and the ensuing commentary! (I’m a fan of Weinberger, but you really have to admire her chutzpah.)

5. Dodie Bellamy’s Barf Manifesto as well as Belladodie

6. From Trinity to Trinity by Kyoko Hayashi, translated by Eiko Otake, as well as Unforgettable Fire: Pictures Drawn by Atomic Bomb Survivors, a scan of which you can download here.

7. Torture of Women by Nancy Spero
(continue reading…)

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Another Side of Occult Motherhood

by on Oct.14, 2010, under Uncategorized

button flower

A few years ago, John and I participated in a peyote ceremony in Western Wisconsin presided over by an Andean ayahuasquero who had also apprenticed with some elders in the Native American Church. His wife—a Mexican curandera—prepared the peyote buttons while the rest of us set up our nests in the enormous teepee outside. It was around this time of year, in the vicinity of Samhain, and chilly, maybe even snowing. In the middle of the teepee the designated Firekeeper summoned an architecture that would sustain a strapping fire till morning and accommodate the shifting proprioception awaiting our collective postprandial experience. Outside the teepee, the Roadman was digging a puke pit. Eventually everyone settled in, the ayahasquero sang and smoked over the buttons, we ate them in rounds and sang icaros continuously, without break, throughout the night. (This was a kind of hybrid ceremony, you might say, icaros and Amazonian mapacho traditionally belonging to the realm of Ayahuasca.) The four young children of this shaman couple joined us in the teepee, sometimes singing, sometimes chasing each other and giggling or squirming out of boredom, mostly though they slept because the ceremony didn’t start until 11 PM and ended at 7 the next morning. Their mother, who was at the time 8 ½ months pregnant, did not sleep. Her singing voice mellifluously transcended the baseline arc of sound and spun shapes and animals and petroglyphs in the air around us. Because she was pregnant, she was entitled to the last button, and had, every other round, taken two instead of the one button allotted the rest of us—since she was essentially eating for two, this was the proper shamanic comportment. As far as “queer,” or perhaps better might be “wrinkled” temporality, well time gets all spontaneous and slippery and ruptured and synesthetic in the mescaline field and nobody remembers or cares about schedules. This is more like mythic time: the break in linear consciousness, in spatio-temporal normativity, is pretty much the whole point of the exercise.
(continue reading…)

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My Favorite Detritus: 2

by on Sep.14, 2010, under Uncategorized

Body in the Bog

“divine materials” (Whitman)

“I am going toward a future that does not exist / leaving every instant a new corpse behind me”—René Daumal, Le Contre-Ciel

memento mori

* * *

“Colour differs from substance. Is colour always lyric? We are not sure. It seems to consist of the detritus from natural history stuck into sentiment. For example, it is said that among humans, women are colourful. Nothing more needs to be said on this theme.” —Lisa Robertson, Occasional Work and Seven Walks from the Office of Soft Architecture

(e.g. Cecilia Vicuña, precarios):

El Quipo Menstrual


(continue reading…)

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My Favorite Detritus: 1

by on Sep.13, 2010, under Uncategorized

Placenta, "baby side"

Placenta, "uterine side"

steamed placenta

another view

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